So you know how I mentioned all the things I’m working on? Well mom’s essay is claiming today’s attention. This also means I am going to spend much of today’s downtime at work crying, but I digress.
When I tell people she read tarot cards, it is usually met with a wave of discomfort. In one scenario, this opened up a conversation about god to which the person at the opposite end referred to her as an idiot. Two things:
1. Never say anything bad about someone’s dead parent. Just don’t do it. Why should I even have to say this?
2. With that being said, there are a lot of things that could have made my mom look like an idiot. If you made a bulleted list about my mother and the most idiotic things you see on that list are believing in god and reading tarot cards, than maybe you’re the idiot and not her.
Faith isn’t a cure-all. Case and point, hers was rock solid but on her death bed before she lost consciousness, she cried out to her sisters that she was afraid to die. (On a sarcastic note, Edye was great at traumatizing her children, if you couldn’t tell by previous posts.)
The thing is, my mother’s MO was making people uncomfortable. She loved it! She would run around during the holidays grabbing at my butt (even into my adulthood she would do this) and she would justify doing this by saying “I made it! I do what I want!”
Whenever she was being mischievous she would get this Cheshire Cat grin that would be followed with her sticking out her tongue and touching her top lip with it. I’ve inherited that move. I smile just like her. I cause trouble just like her. I am colorful just like her but in the contained way she tried to master.
She had a belly ring with a cross charm on it that she loved showing off. She said my whole life that 27 would be one of my best years and I hope she’s right.
There were a lot of things about Edye Muro that were taboo, weird and messy but that’s why I loved her. She taught me that happiness trumps comfort and that real beauty is being yourself, even when you’re raw, especially when you’re wild.
I can sincerely say I would have taken her for a mother over any put together woman any day, tarot cards and all.