Better v.s Different

“You can do better than him.”

That’s something all of my friends have said about all of the guys I’ve dated. It’s supposed to make me feel better. I know they mean well, but one of my former coworkers challenged that notion.

“No Jess,” she said, “I’m sure all the men you date are good men, but you should be doing different. If something is off, or not working out, or you feel pushed in another direction, you should be doing things differently.”

While I didn’t want to see it then, she had a point. You hear the cliched saying all the time, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” Someone who values vintage might not appreciate the modern and vise versa. They don’t need better, they need different. 

When I moved away from Boston, I didn’t need better. I needed different. 

When I told my current roommate I was moving out, it wasn’t because I needed better, I needed different. Maybe I need to live with someone I love less, unless that person is a lover. Maybe I needed someone less like me. Maybe it wasn’t about either of us, and that I was just ready for a new adventure. Either way, I opted to move out because while I though I sure why, I knew I needed different.

So here’s to different-to trusting yourself even when it’s scary or painful, and for bright and new beginnings for those that leave, and who are being left. May you find that often times, different is actually better even if it starts out feeling like the worst.


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